Martin – Words

I lost my brother and lifelong best friend a week ago.  There’s so much to process that I’m still not able to put my feelings into words very much.  So I’ll share something Jeannie wrote.

I met Martin for the first time the same night I met John in late August 1987. It was my first night at UB and I met John at a dorm party. John took me around to meet some friends of his and I remember poking our heads into Martin and Dwayne’s room. They greeted us sitting at their computers which were set up side by side.

Dating John meant getting to know Martin. We drove to Toronto together with some friends to see Pink Floyd in the first few weeks I knew them. Martin was a fellow engineering freshman and our circles of friends crossed quite frequently and he became a friend of mine right from the start. I’ll never forget the first time I went to supper at the Szinger home on Curtis Parkway. I don’t remember exactly what type of stew John & Martin’s mum made but Martin nudged me and whispered something like, “You know we’re having squirrel tonight.”

Sometimes I would sit with him and Dwayne at dinner. I dubbed the experience “The Martin and Dwayne Diet” since they would find something gross and unappetizing about anything I put in my mouth. That was Martin with his endearingly odd sense of humor.

Martin greeted me with a big hug when I visited John during the summer after my first year at UB after I was away from Buffalo for over a month. It helped make me feel accepted into the family I would eventually become a part of.

As time went on Martin became a person who you knew could be relied upon. Years later, when my car broke down and I needed to move my brother out of the dorms at UB before Christmas, he helped me move all Denis’s stuff back to my apartment. There are stores about him stepping in

and helping people in his circle with things like re-writing resumes and helping with job searches. He wanted to make the world better for the people around him.

When things were dark for him two decades ago, it was tough. We sat with him and listened, and talked about where he was going. He didn’t sit long at the bottom of despair, and found ways to keep moving, finding something to reach for. He decided to run the Pikes Peak marathon. That gave him a goal to work through, a very important thing for him. I remember he called our house after he completed the Buffalo marathon that summer. John was out somewhere and I took the call and heard all about his experience. At that time he also doubled down his determination to work in the gaming industry and he sought solace in music by recording an album with John. They built matching home recording studios so they could work together remotely. He also found some local musicians and joined a band.

It was through that band that he met Kathleen.

It’s from here that many of you know how the story goes. We were happy he found someone who shared so many interests. We knew that when he decided he wanted a life with Kathleen he would bring the same dedication to her that he brought to everything he did. They started a family. They built a house. They had chickens, bees and cows. He was a wonderful father and uncle. His 4 children all hold his spirit each in their own unique way.

Martin was as brilliant, passionate, creative and as motivated a person as I have ever met. He did nothing halfway. John has been a major collaborator with him the whole time I have known him, especially these past 20 years as their music has filled our home.

For the last few years he collaborated with John on the “Global Jukebox” project. It was suited to both of them as it combined their programming skills with their love of music. John says that one of the greatest pleasures of this professional life was having the opportunity to work with Martin. I was a fly on the wall for many zoom calls that were a combination of fun brotherly comradery and deep technical knowledge.

Last time I saw Martin he came to our house for a barbecue with a few friends. A good time was had by all. John and Martin spent the next day biking and playing music together. As he left, he gave me a hug. The same hug from that summer long ago and same one I got countless times over 37 years.

I will miss you forever Martin.